Dexter's Going on a Mission

Those of you on Facebook have already seen all of this unfold, but it's nice to recap anyway. Dexter's mission call arrived Wednesday and a flurry of phone calls and text messages commenced. Our dear friend, Linda, was so excited that she offered to go retrieve Dexter from Arizona as long as Dwayne would help with the driving. They left Wednesday evening and arrived in Ft. Defiance after 1:00 am.  A few hours later, they were on their way again, stopping in Shiprock so Linda could visit with a friend. Dexter walked into our house around 3:25 pm and the crowds started gathering for the big announcement.

I've realized how blessed they were on this little road trip.  Just minutes after they left Provo and got past Spanish Fork, there was a big accident that shut down the entire south-bound side of the freeway. They would have been stuck there for a long time if they had left later.  I really didn't think they would turn around so quickly to come back to Provo, but it turned out to be a very good thing that they did.  About two hours after they got home, a serious semi collision involving a fuel truck closed down US6 from Spanish Fork to Price. If they had left Ft. Defiance two hours later, they wouldn't have been able to get back to Provo tonight (the road is still closed).

We had cell phones calling a variety of friends and family members so they could listen in as Dexter read his mission call.  What I learned from this experience is that unless you hold the phone really close to the person speaking, it doesn't pick up much sound. Several of us had to repeat the information before ending the phone calls.  I've seen videos of people jumping up and down and getting all excited when they find out where they are going and I honestly expected that from Dexter.  He was awfully low-key while reading the letter and I started to wonder if he was disappointed when he read "McAllen, Texas" for his mission. He was probably just in shock overall.  His face lit up when he got to the part where he read that he would be preaching the gospel in Spanish. I had my heart set on him learning a new language and I think he felt the same way.  There was a lot more cheering for that announcement. 

Dexter will be reporting to the MTC on May 9th. For those of you who don't know, rules for the MTC have changed dramatically recently. All family/friend goodbyes need to be done before bringing the missionary to the MTC. The movie and talks they used to do for the missionaries and their families is a thing of the past. Now you just drive them up, let them out with their luggage, and drive away.  You only have five minutes to unload them and they don't want you lingering to take photos. It makes for an easier transition for the missionaries, but I'll admit that I miss the bigger event.  I'm so glad that I got to experience it with Bill, Rick, and Sharon.

There is an impressive booklet of information that Dexter and I are going through. It gives the details of what to bring and what not to bring as well as all the things he needs to take care of in the next 7 weeks. I plan on getting a blog up that will be dedicated to Dexter's mission. It will have the details on what he needs to get as far as clothing, equipment, etc. as well as his progress and addresses for him on his mission and at the MTC. Our goal is to post his letters to us on that blog so everyone can share in the experience. I've enjoyed following other missionaries who have set it up that way.

Thank you all for everything you've done for Dexter and for us during this process.  We have benefited from your prayers along the way. Dexter is really excited about the conversations he has had with family members and close friends and is very grateful for the offers of support. Even though we live in Mormon country, we often feel like fish out of water since much of this is very foreign to us. Emerson and I have never been there to see someone open their mission call before. The process of getting the paperwork in and preparing for the mission itself is all new - partly because the process itself has changed over the years and partly because I never saw my brothers or sister go through it. We have felt a lot of opposition so far and I believe strong efforts have been made to try to prevent Dexter from serving this mission. The support we received is almost overwhelming with the Bishop assuring us things would work out and my best friend advising me to tell Dexter not to let my job loss interfere with his preparation. Many, many friends have told us that we will receive blessings while Dexter is out serving his mission and I definitely look forward to it. Jobs, vehicles, illnesses, and other obstacles have pushed us to the edge. We are ready for it to settle down.

I have a job!

Today I was offered a job working the with National Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Society's Utah-Southern Idaho Chapter. I will be the Fundraising Coordinator and they want me to start work on March 20.  The pay matched what I was making at Heritage, but that won't cover what it will cost for commuting to the Salt Lake City area. I tried asking for more and they checked to see what they could do. There wasn't any more room in the budget. I accepted the job anyway. It's better than what unemployment pays and I really need to get working again.  The cost of the health insurance was a real shocker. To have family coverage, it will cost $850 a month. I don't know yet what it would cost to add dental insurance.

I'm trying to be happy about the new job. I love that I will be helping to combat MS and I will have an opportunity to supervise people and gain more skills I need to move up. The financial squeeze scares me, but I grateful to have a job. The pain of losing the job at Heritage still lingers. Getting a new job when you're leaving a job you hate is easy to celebrate. Getting a new job when you didn't want to leave the job you had feels awkward. I'm hoping that I will be so busy that I put Heritage behind me quickly. It could just be that I am overly sensitive to feeling like I belong or I'm wanted. I don't know that there's any way they could convince me that the decision to let me go wasn't personal and they weren't trying to get rid of me. Nobody has called me to beg for my help or to say how much I am missed at Heritage. I talked to a friend who was laid off shortly after I was and she has already heard about former coworkers trashing her now that she's gone. That's one of my big fears and I've had a lot of nightmares about Heritage, my former boss, and their perceptions of me.

Once I start working, I'm sure I'll start to feel better. I'm so grateful for every person who supported me and offered prayers on my behalf. I couldn't have made it through without your help and faith.

I might have a job....maybe

Time for another quick update...
Dexter is still in Arizona with his grandma. He might get his crowns for his teeth this week and he's still hoping to get his driver's license. He fluctuates between having a good day and being bored to tears. From what I heard today, he finally took a shower and the water heater broke.

We got our truck back again. It still won't pass emissions and the mechanic says we need to drive it about 100 miles so the sensors will be reset. We're really hoping it works this time. Having both vehicles sure does make things easier on all of us.

Emerson's enjoying his school's success. We watched Lone Peak High School win the 5A state basketball championship this last weekend. It's been a great year with championships in football and basketball this year. The majority of the basketball team also played on the football team - very talented boys! Emerson has been asked to be part of the football coaching staff and there are already football camps he will be going with them to this month.

And back to the title of this post...I've been riding the emotional roller coaster and today was no different.  I heard from the National Multiple Sclerosis Society's Utah chapter and they had a few more questions for me. They wanted to know if I was up to commuting and if I was considering other jobs. Ironically, those were the very things troubling my mind at the moment. I really do want this job. The cause is dear to my heart and it's the type of work I love. There are two other jobs I've applied for that are closer to home and I would love just as much or more. I hate commuting, but I hate being unemployed even more. I also can't count on anything happening with those other jobs and I don't dare risk losing a great job to the slim possibility that one of those other jobs works out.  They have moved me along in the job application process now and have to do my background check before they can even mention a job offer. Interestingly, I received an email from their HR office with the authorization form for the background check as well as a request to fill out an online employment application. I originally applied through the Career Builder website and they have conducted a phone interview and an interview in person. Then I answered questions for an additional scenario they posed via email and I found out they called Heritage for references for last week. Then this latest phone call with questions and NOW they want me to fill out an employment application? Just weird!  I'm guessing I will hear something by the end of the week.

Getting Resourceful

Dexter finished up his missionary paperwork and submitted it to the Bishop on February 10th.  It's pretty cool that everything is online now. Our Bishop even showed me what it all looks like on his end of the computer.  The support from friends, family, and people in our ward is absolutely amazing. We feel so blessed that we don't have to worry about how we can support Dexter on his mission.

The dental work has been the toughest part so far in getting Dex ready. He definitely inherited my soft teeth and skipping dental visits for the last few years didn't help. In just two weeks the insurance was maxed out and that was just for the exams, x-rays, and fillings. There was nothing left to pay for the two crowns he needed at $720 each. We decided it was time to take advantage of one last resource and send him back to the Rez to finish his dental work.

Dexter is now experiencing the Rez life and you've probably seen some of his Facebook posts about how bored he is. We've suggested some different ways to make productive use of all his extra time, but he's not very interested. I think it will be good for him to experience some of this in preparation for two years without cell phones, computers, and other distractions. 

No news on the job front yet. I have received some rejections, bu I still have more positions to apply for. Emerson has been patiently supporting me through my many many mood swings. Dwayne has been working at Black Sheep Cafe a few nights a week and has been selling a bunch of his Magic the Gathering cards to try to get back on his feet.  We still don't have the truck back so transportation is not fun.

Quick Update

Just a quick update for those who are paying attention.

• I'm still searching for a job. I had an interview at UVU this week and an interview for a different job next week.
• My emotions got the best of me last weekend. I finally gave in a grieved the job loss, but I'm back on track again.
• Dexter was ordained an Elder and seems to be nearly done with mission paperwork. Exams have been scheduled over the next week and we'll know where we stand for any dental work that needs to be done.
• Dwayne has a job working at Black Sheep Cafe, a new place here in Provo. They hope to open next weekend.
• Emerson has been asked to help with the football team next year.
• We had finally managed to get a rebuilt engine for the truck, but it had problems from the beginning. The truck has been sitting and waiting for a replacement engine.  The good news came today that another engine has been found, so we may actually get the truck back in a week or so.

Thank you all for your encouragement. I know that it has meant a lot to have our family and close friends offer support, even if it's just chatting when I need someone to talk to.

In Case You Haven't Heard

In case you haven't heard the big news, I am now jobless. It happened Tuesday morning, a few hours into my work day. Honestly, there was nothing that gave me a clue to what was coming my way. Even when my boss asked to meet with me in the HR Director's office, I was telling myself not to overreact.

After working at Heritage for ten years, the decision to lay me off was the result of problems with the economy and funding from California (where most of our students are from) that led the governing board to aggressively pursue hiring a development director. They expect to hire a director with a lot of fundraising experience and the ability to quickly bring in some money. Unfortunately, there isn't enough money in the budget to hire that person and keep me on.

Because I took a long vacation after Christmas and Emerson bought me an amazing book that helped me adjust my attitude to be more positive at work, I actually handled this news fairly well.  In fact, as they were telling me some of the specifics with me losing my job, I kept trying to figure out how to make it easier on them. Every unfinished job haunted me and I wanted to be sure that things still got done. They could have kept me on a little longer to help with the transition, but they felt that would be unfair to me since it would distract me from finding another job.

One of the amazing things I learned during this process was that being positive is the best "revenge." No matter what you do, the job is gone. Being miserable, hysterical, etc. just makes it look like they were right to let you go. Taking it well and being positive and hopeful shows what a dignified person you are and that makes their decision harder for them to bear. I've already seen that being hopeful instead of mopey makes people want to help you more.

It's important to note that I didn't do anything wrong. The job loss didn't come as a result of any failure on my part.  This was a layoff or reduction in force due to changes the company decided to make. Sure, they could have tried to squish me into another job at Heritage and push somebody else out, but that wouldn't be fair to anyone. The clean break makes it easier to focus on getting a job that matches my skills and abilities.

I chose to take this bad news well and I'm determined to stay hopeful. Any company would be lucky to have me with all my talents and impressive work ethic. That doesn't mean that I don't have my down moments, because I definitely have those. It's easy to blame myself and feel bad for the impact on my family even though there is no blame to be had. Thankfully, I have friends and family who are giving me tremendous encouragement and support.

It's all kind of scary and I feel like I need one of those really fancy makeovers where they fix your teeth and laser your eyes and make you look amazing. I miss having my office since it was one bit of space that was all mine. I'm pretty sure I set a new record with 20 boxes, 3-4 bags, and 5 plants to move out of that office.  My stuff has all been stashed away at home, but I'm still trying to find a space to call my own.  I'm meeting with an outplacement counselor and have plenty of things to work on as homework. This counselor is my best bet for getting a job that matches my skills and my salary.

Please keep us in your prayers. We sure need all the help we can get right now.  I've decided not to panic for at least a month. I'll let you know how that works out.

Another Blog

I had more thoughts in my head than I could contain, so I started another blog. Since I try to stay focused on Etsy and business topics on the Surviving the Etsy Madness blog, I needed a more random blog where I could share other thoughts. The Spirit Bead Journals gives me that opportunity and I can still keep this blog personal and private.

Each of my blogs allows you to subscribe by RSS feed or by email, so I hope you are able to keep up.  Even if I don't get a chance to talk to you very often, the blogs will give you an idea of what's going on in my life.

Kathy's package arrived pre-opened

Thank you to everyone who sent us Christmas gifts. I still have a few gifts to send out and I hope to get them in the mail before the next holiday. Dwayne is trying for a job at Black Sheep Cafe, a new restaurant and gallery owned by our friend Winston Mason's family. Dexter is working on filling out his mission papers.

Not Exactly a White Christmas

Even though we get snow in Utah, we don't always get a white Christmas.  There's been snow a few times, but nothing has really stayed. The dogs are not thrilled with the colder temperatures since that means they're cooped up inside their kennels in the house more.

Thanksgiving was pretty exciting at our house.  We managed to fit Emerson's mom, sister, brothers, and the wives and kids in our compact little abode for the big meal.  That meant 18 people sitting at three tables (two in the kitchen, one in the living room) lots of chairs, and much coziness. Getting to the refrigerator meant asking the person at the end of the table to get up and move their chair out of the way. We intended to serve buffet style with all the food on the kitchen counter. It was a little too cozy for everyone to get over to the counter, so dishes were passed along one at a time. Please don't think I'm complaining. I actually enjoy the chaos to a certain extent. Too bad Christmas will be almost empty here.

Emerson got to enjoy Lone Peak's first ever high school football championship.  It took some of the sting out of having our truck break down.  The truck had the starter go out and then they discovered that there were more problems. The bearings in the crankcase???  I think that's what they said. Anyway, it means we need a new engine. Emerson and I have been spending more time together as we have to share one vehicle.

Dwayne and Dexter trained for a new job, but were told they had to wait a few weeks to start working since they didn't have enough work for everyone. When those weeks rolled by, there still wasn't any work, so they are looking for jobs again. This is a tough time of year for that since most places have already hired seasonal help and will probably keep some of those employees if they need to after Christmas.

I managed to survive another musical play at Heritage. The deadlines for things made it difficult, but I did learn how to use InDesign to create the playbill and that was a real blessing. Since Heritage will be auditioning for the next show in a couple of weeks, being able to use InDesign will save me a lot of time.  That pneumonia I had at the end of October lasted all through November and through several rounds of antibiotics.  The doctor finally put me on a super strong antibiotic and I was well (sort of) in time for helping backstage during the play. I still have some congestion, but that may be because we have a lot of pollution in our air right now. Two days after the play was over, the Joint Commission showed up to do their accreditation survey at Heritage.  This happens every 1-3 years and is crucial to our staying in business.   Now that all the big stuff is over at work for a little bit, I decided to take some time off.  I never took the day off even with my pneumonia, so I figure I deserve some time now.

We'll be here for Christmas. No big plans, really. Emerson's had some fun designing some really cool paper Christmas lanterns that he gave to his fellow teachers. I participated in a tatted ornament exchange via Facebook. Gambit and Storm are still getting used to having their beds in a new spot in the living room since they were displaced by the Christmas Tree. 

October Happenings

Halloween - our "gang" at Heritage. Chaplain Tami started it. I spiced it up by going gansta granny style.

What's going on at our house? The boys' temp jobs at Costume Craze ran out, but they were able to interview at some place for a low paying job that starts on Monday. Still, they've gone a couple of weeks without paying work. They're still playing in a lot of Magic the Gathering tournaments, something made possible by trading their better cards with other players so those players will pay the entry fees at the next tournament.

Over the last couple of weeks, I was getting more tired and run down and sicker. A friend finally pushed me to go to the doctor on Friday. Turns out that I had a sinus infection and early stage pneumonia. The doctor also busted me for my high blood pressure. It's been high for a couple of years now, but I always managed to make excuses to get the doctor to dismiss it. No escape this time - I'm now on yet another medication.  

The high school Emerson works out is in the state high school football playoffs right now and we're enjoying cheering them on. He used our Cricut machine to make some fun Halloween cards for his fellow teachers and we made some green chile and pork stew for the potluck he had at work. He's pretty happy about working there and they seem to love having him there.

That job that UVU asked me to apply for turned out to be a big disappointment. I received an email from them yesterday letting me know I didn't make it to the final round of selection in the hiring process. They never even interviewed me!  It just doesn't make sense since the head of that department called me and asked me to apply for the position before it was even posted.  A month later, when the job posted, she sent me an email to let me know and asked me to call her if I was still interested in the job.  With all that interest and encouragement, I should at least rate an interview.  It hurt to get my hopes up and then have it end like this.

Things are pretty busy for us right now. I'm setting up our stuff at the holiday boutique at work this Thursday and Friday. The following weekend is UVU's powwow and we'll have a table there again. I'll have my usual registration and contest tabulating job there as well. We're attending Lone Peak's football games and hitting other events that come up so we don't get "bored."

It suddenly got cold!

The warm weather lasted longer than normal into the Fall, but now it has abruptly ended.  Snow on the mountains and rain and very cold weather now for us in the valley. We tried to make it without turning on the heater in our house, but we gave in last night and fired it up.

Other updates - Dwayne and Dexter are doing temp work at Costume Craze (packing costumes for shipping). UVU finally posted the job they told me about (after a month) and I applied. Someone recommended a place that sells used tires at reasonable prices so I finally have decent tires on the car. It was getting scary with bald tires in the rain and these "new" tires should last a few months.

Emerson's work keeping up the blog for the football team earned some praise from the football coach in the form of a Lone Peak football jacket. The coach even presented it to him in front of his class. 

Snoopy (from Build-a-Bear) delivered a beautiful necklace to me for my birthday. Having a birthday in the middle of a busy week is tough. We had the Scholarship Gala at Heritage last week and it went really well. With everything I was trying to get done, I ended up being the last one dressed that evening. It was our best event yet and it looks like we have found some new supporters for the cause.  Even though the event itself went well, I had some struggles with some things involved in the organization of it.

The crazy train won't be slowing down any time soon. I have a lot to do this week for the Women's Business Network's business conference on October 14th.  Emerson and I are also gearing up for a boutique that we will be selling at in a few weeks.