So Sick

I've had a tough time these past few days. My biggest allergy is to cedar and it hit me hard this year. Unfortunately, the aftermath of a bad allergy year is that my sinuses stay messed up and I end up with a sinus infection. I didn't see it coming and it took me down pretty hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly a wimp when it comes to getting sick. Most times I can just get some extra sleep and be done with it or at least tough it out in the meantime. There was no way to tough this one out and I remembered how nice it was when I was a kid and Mom was there to tuck us in, clean up the messes, and supply us with 7-up and chicken soup. I don't like being sick as a grown-up since nobody's there to baby me and everyone still wants me to take care of them. Husbands, kids, and dogs don't seem to understand that it's possible for moms to get sick. I felt bad about missing work since there are some projects I'm working on that nobody else can take care of in my absence. Now that I'm feeling better, I'll have to work harder not to get sick again.

Mourning

I attended a funeral today for the husband of one of my coworkers, MaryAnn Smith. MaryAnn was such a great person to talk to about what was going on with my dad. Her husband had a fatal illness that slowly took him out over a period of two years. He was in a coma for the last little bit. They had chosen hospice care since his disease was incurable. MaryAnn was a great source of strength for me when I struggled with how to feel about Dad's situation. She was relieved when her husband finally passed away since he had suffered so much. She also missed him, of course. While sitting at the funeral, I found myself very overcome with emotion as I listened to their children talk about their dad. He was only a year older than my dad and I found myself jealous of that family because they got to have a funeral. We all knew that a church funeral didn't really make sense for my dad and he had a thing against funerals because of traumatic family funerals had been for him. I still wished I could have given a talk on his life, what I learned from him, the funny stories, and my testimony of the gospel and how we can be a family forever. I'm hoping that I can have a meaningful experience when we get together to spread Dad's ashes. If anyone has an idea on when this might happen, please let me know. My schedule seems to book up fast.

Easter

I find Easter to be a curious holiday. Unlike Christmas, the religious and secular sides of the holiday don't seem to connect at all. As a child, I actually believed the Easter Bunny hid the eggs for us as we slept. In my teenage years, I was allowed to help the egg hiding effort. It's a wonder none of us ever got sick since we hid the eggs while the younger slept and they stayed there all night. Since Oregon weather usually includes rain, the egg hunts were done inside our living room. We had our traditional potato salad made with brightly colored eggs (after 8 hours at room temperature). My biggest Easter memories while growing up involve the chocolate we got in the Easter baskets - baskets of goodies were also hidden around the room. Kathy and I would sort the chocolate into different baskets and then pretend our dolls were shopkeepers selling the candy from their basket storefronts.

When I married Emerson, I was surprised to see that his entire family, regardless of age, participated in the Easter egg hunt. His grandma has been known to outhunt the children! There are no excuses in his family for skipping the egg hunt or the potato salad using those eggs. I found myself pondering this as I prepared for today. The boys are older and don't participate much. I wasn't really in the mood for coloring eggs and hiding them. Eugene, Emerson's brother, reminded me of the importance of keeping the tradition going. I found myself having a lot of fun coloring the eggs (I bought a camoflauge style dye kit) and hid the eggs in the living room instead of the back yard. The toughest part was waiting for Dwayne to get home from work so I could have the boys search for the eggs. I think the boys enjoyed the hunt and I know we all enjoyed the potato salad. I didn't feel guilty at all about having some despite my desire to lose weight.