A Tribute to My Mom

I am not unique.  Every child who enters this world has a mother.  Some mothers live long lives and get to see their children grow old. Others don't survive giving birth to their children or pass away at some other point, still much earlier than expected.  My mom fits in the latter category.  She was much too young (in my opinion) when she left us.  All of her children were adults and she did get to see a few of her grandchildren born, but it was still too soon.

One of my dearest friends was given the most amazing gift for Mother's Day this year.  Her daughter wrote about her in a way that any mother would be proud to see.  This same daughter wrote a tribute to both her parents last year as well. It was such a beautiful tribute and it inspired me to do one of my own.

On the left you can see my mom's high school photo.  Isn't she beautiful?  You can tell just by looking how friendly she is.  I love her hair in this picture - so fancy! I wasn't much of a girly girl, so I think it's cool that she went with such a natural look rather than overly made-up.  Mom never thought she looked very good (I inherited that), but I think she's gorgeous.

Why My Mom is the Best:

•  She is the most flexible person I know (other than Olympic gymnasts). It amazed me to see her sit down, straddle her legs, and touch her nose to the floor - and this was after she had gained weight.
• She was amazingly resourceful and determined.  She taught me to always do more than was expected and to learn other people's jobs in the workplace.  When I was growing up, she worked for the City of Coos Bay as a payroll clerk and worked her way up to being the only Finance Director they ever had who wasn't a CPA. She is the reason I have become valuable wherever I work.
• Ever wonder if it's even possible to not say unkind things to or about other people?  It is....my mom did it.  No gossip crossed her lips.  Amazingly enough, she never even talked badly about my dad even though they had a rough marriage and he was pretty cruel to her. 
• Mom was a woman of great faith.  With her, you would never doubt the Savior's existence.  There were a lot of years where we weren't able to attend church because of my dad, but in the end, all five of us kids made it to the temple.  When the LDS Church changed their policies to allow women to get endowed in the temple if their spouse was inactive or a nonmember, Mom and Grandma immediately went to the temple.  I was in college at the time and provided transportation for them.  When I went through some really rocky times with my own faith, she would remind me, "the gospel is true; don't worry about the people."
• Mom taught me to do "the twist."  She twisted it up something fierce right there in the living room!  I had never seen her dance before and she just blew me away.  I feel so privileged to have experienced this since my younger siblings didn't get much time with her when she was still able to use her legs.
• No matter how stupid, defiant, and rebellious I was, she loved me.  Really....she loved me. And not in some superficial way either. She could never be mad at you, just disappointed (and that was worse than having someone be mad).  When I finally came to my senses, she was there, as always.  I wish I had known back then how rare and valuable that unconditional love was.
• She could cry at just about anything.  I definitely got that from her too.  A sentimental ad on tv, a touching story at church - you name it, she would get all choked up.  That may be one of the better gifts I got from her.  I used to see it as some horrible curse since tears would be streaming down my face and nobody else's.  Now I know that it really is a gift to be able to feel so deeply.  
• Have you ever seen someone get laughing so hard that they accidentally snort or even end up with tears rolling down their faces?  That's my mom (and me, too).  I can still see her laughing and laughing, then snorting and wiping away the tears.  It was the true embodiment of joy.
• She taught me to cook the one complete meal that I am successful with - Thanksgiving dinner.  She was visiting us once and I told her how I was struggling with cooking.  She offered to teach me to make one complete meal of my choice.  Every Thanksgiving, I get so excited about cooking the meal she taught me and get so upset if anything gets in the way.  Her stuffing is my favorite part of the meal and I'm so pleased that my mom-in-law likes it too.
• Mom fulfilled her mission on this earth.  I know this because I sat next to her during her final night and read her patriarchal blessing to her.  If you are LDS, you know that many of the blessings promised don't happen during a person's mortal existence, but there wasn't even one thing in her blessing that hadn't happened.  She was an absolute saint and I admired her so much.  As I sang to her that night, tears rolled down her face.  My voice isn't the greatest, but I'm pretty sure the tears were because she knew her time here was done. 
• She had beautiful brown hair.  Yes, I'm biased on this one.  Dad and all my siblings had blond hair.  Even Mom had blond hair as a baby.  Sharing her brown hair and brown eyes and looking so much like her has always made me proud.  Who wouldn't want to look like her?  Her sister helped her dye her hair blond once and I felt so abandoned.  Fortunately, she went back to brunette soon enough.
• There was absolutely no way to be more generous than my mom.  People would try to do things for her and she would just do something right back.  She wasn't trying to cancel out what they did.  She just couldn't help doing things for others.  When I was visiting her one time, she had me help her make some bread and other baked treats and deliver them to the people who had fixed her roof and did a makeover on her front yard.  Her kindness and generosity was well known to all.
• She endured to the end.  That was her mantra as things got tougher in her life and it got her through it.  Faith doesn't get rid of the bad stuff, it gets us through the bad stuff.  She did such a good job of not letting her MS get her down that I wasn't aware of how bad it had gotten. I try to remember how she handled things when my own life gets crazy and I wear an ETTE (endure to the end) ring for that reason.

The only thing Mom did that really disappointed me was when she needed extra help because of her multiple sclerosis and she wouldn't let me help her more.  I would have done anything for her. 

Mother's Day is really tough for me now that she's gone.  I totally lose it when the Primary kids sing their Mother's Day songs and remember singing those songs to her. With Mom gone, I tend to feel more like a "mom" than a "sister" to my own brothers and sisters.  I think about them all the time and would do anything for them.  My own children are now adults.  I didn't turn out to be the kind of mom who is adored by her children and that is one of my bigger disappointments. Fortunately, I will always have my mom's example to keep me going.