Garden

I love gardening! I'm not terribly good at it, but I love the peace it brings. There is something really wonderful about growing things. It's so cool to see plants grow and develop and sometimes amazing growth seems to happen overnight. We don't have much room for our garden and I tend to forget how much the plants spread out. It didn't look this crowded when I planted it...
We have some anaheim peppers in smaller pots on a shelf next to the garden. Emerson really loves cooking with those anaheims.
Last year I barely got one tiny bell pepper out of the garden. I've already picked a few now and more are on the way. They're not big like the ones in the store, but they taste good.
We got our first zucchini of the summer much earlier than I expected. Next to it is a gypsy pepper. They're very sweet and this is the second one we've picked. The corn is growing well behind the dog pen. It's already looking better than last year. The tomatoes are looking good, we have tiny little cucumbers starting up, and it looks like in a week or two we will have lots of squash to eat. The onions are leftovers from last year that started on their own. The tough part is keeping the dogs from attacking the veggies as I take them from the garden to the house. They always think it's all for them...cute. I started some plants from seed and others we bought starts of, but it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference. All the rain we had got things going and the blazing sun we have right now is boosting the growth. As long as I have my garden to play in, I'm good!

Dwayne's Hair

For those of you who have been following us on Facebook, I'm sure you've noticed a little family tension going on. No, I'm not in favor of a public family argument, but some things end up being hard to ignore. Before you decide to weigh in and judge our parenting, it might be good to know what's going on.

When Dwayne came home from Job Corps, things went really well for awhile. He had a nice full time job and was pretty polite and disciplined. In time, he resented our requests for him to pitch in around the house and rules or curfews. We tried to let him make his own decisions as an adult. He spent his money as he wanted, bought a drove a car wherever he wanted, and spent his days as he wanted. All we asked was that he be in at a decent hour and contribute to the work of the household. One of Dwayne's friends introduced him to the idea of selling home security systems for the summer. I found out after Dwayne had already given notice at work that he was moving to Chicago to sell security systems. His thinking was that it would give him good practice for a mission and he could earn the money he needed to go on the mission. I reminded him that he had not been good about attending church and had been skipping mission prep classes, leading to the Bishop being unwilling to recommend him to serve a mission. Dwayne figured he would take care of that later. He told us the names of a bunch of people he had talked to and that they supported his decision - his boss, his aunt Kathy, his young men's leader and his wife, and other friends and neighbors. We have since discovered that many of them didn't really know what he was asking them about and didn't think it was a good idea. Despite our protests and my warnings about how these summer sales jobs rip off young people, he decided to go. Despite his inexperience with driving, he drove all the way to Chicago.

Since he has been there, we receive regular calls from him about the tough time he is having. Dwayne's personality is not very conducive to sales and he was having a hard time making any sales at all. He was upset to find himself possibly on the chopping block and due to be sent home. We reassured him that there was no shame in coming home. The economy is tough and he had tried hard. He was spared the cut, but they started mentioning that he would need to cut his hair. His managers believed that he would make more sales if he had short hair. Emerson and I talked to him a lot about it and told him that he should just come home - no summer job is worth that kind of sacrifice. We were prepared for him to cut his hair to go on a mission, but not for some temporary job. His manager could only promise that he might be spared for a few more weeks if he cut his hair. If the haircut doesn't improve his sales, he has nothing else to give. In the meantime, they deduct $100 per week for his rent for a shared apartment and he is up against various fines for missing meetings, having a dirty apartment, etc. He continues to push to get the minimum of 20 sales for the summer that will earn his rent money back and give him $1,000 signing bonus. For every sale he makes, he gets a little over $200. This adventure has cost him money....and now his hair. Two months after he finishes this summer job, he may get a "back end" check for remaining money earned ($60 per sale that hasn't been cancelled), but I've heard from people who've worked for them who were cheated out of those checks. Dwayne is determined not to quit and I admire that to an extent. His managers are playing him like salespeople tend to do and he doesn't get it. He's sure they really care and are his friends. We've done everything we can to be there for him when he calls and have made it clear that we disagree with cutting his hair for a job that's only going to last for 6 more weeks. I begged him to come home. We heard from Dexter yesterday about the haircut. He's an adult and there's nothing we can do. We are allowed to be upset and I reminded him that he doesn't get to choose the consequences of his actions. No parent likes to be rejected like this and it truly hurts us right now. We have been clear with him that we support him whether or not he serves a mission - it is his choice to make. Emerson tried so hard to get him to go to church and the mission prep classes and supported him having to cut his hair for the mission. Dwayne is now hurling accusations at us that are just not true. I don't enjoy the public war either. He has said plenty to hurt us in text messages and emails as well. We still love him and want the best for him and hope he somehow makes this worth what he has sacrificed. Those of you with teenagers know much of the pain we are going through. Agree or disagree, it doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know the rest of the story. I love all of my family, but be prepared for me to be unhappy if you sit there and delete my side of the conversation. If you don't want to hear my opinion, don't post about us on Facebook. I reserve the right to explain my side of things.

Saying a Final Goodbye

I traveled to San Diego this weekend to join my siblings to spread out dad's ashes over the ocean. Tina's parents live near San Diego and were gracious enough to let us stay at their house and took us out on their boat. Ralph and Abby Dickman have been so wonderful to us. Kathy flew out to Las Vegas, met up with Sharon, and the two of them drove out here with Dad's ashes. Bill, Tina, Billy, and Eliza came out earlier in the week so they could go to Disneyland. I flew out here on Friday and will be heading home tomorrow. We went out on the boat yesterday and it was absolutely fitting that the weather was overcast and it felt like being back in Bandon. The waves were kind of choppy and we laughed and screamed as if we were on a roller coaster ride. Along the way, a bunch of dolphins joined us, swimming along with the boat. It was really fun watching them swim in front of us and around us, jumping out of the water. After we got far enough out on the ocean, Bill said a nice prayer and we spread Dad's ashes in the ocean. Then we headed back to the harbor and had some fish and chips, walked along the pier, and headed back to the Dickman's house. After some games, movies, and some time in the hot tub, the day was over. Sharon and Kathy had to take off this morning and Bill headed home this morning since all of them have work tomorrow. I'm here one more night and then I will be back in Utah. It was a great experience and I'm glad we could get together out here. I wish Rick could have been here. I hope it won't be our last chance to get together as siblings.

Watch Out for the Glass!

The turn signal lightbulb went out on the truck and Emerson went to change the bulb for me. The bulb was really stuck and in the process of pushing it in and turning it, the bulb broke and sliced into his thumb. It took awhile to stop the blood from spurting, but he seems to mostly be okay. He is just inconvenienced by a very sore thumb this week. Today, Dexter managed to trip while walking out of his bedroom and stabilized himself by putting his hand through the glass of the pantry cabinet door. If you really need to see the results, check out Dexter's Facebook page. Of course I didn't want to be left out, so when I came home and tried cleaning up some glass shards the vacuum missed, one of the shards managed to make its way into my thumb. Feeling rather wimpy at this point, I ended up asking Dexter to pull the glass out for me. It's probably a good thing Dwayne isn't here since he's a fainter...

Challenge Over, Life Continues

The 100-Day Heart Challenge is now over and I came in 4th. In addition to losing 25 pounds, I lost about 3% body fat, brought my glucose down from pre-diabetic to normal level, lowered my blood pressure from a scary high level to practically normal, and made dramatic changes to my triglycerides level. I'm so happy to be healthier and I plan on continuing with what I learned during the challenge. We ended things with a 5K and I even sprinted the last 200 yards of that (because a friend challenged me to). I have a lot more weight to lose, but I plan on doing it the proper way. Emerson and I have been going to the gym together and we're both trying to eat healthier. Some of my coworkers go walking with me for a mile or so most days and we're helping keep tabs on each other.

So here is what our little family has been up to lately:
Emerson is finishing his special education certification this summer. His classes are done and now he just needs to pass off his student teaching and pass the Praxis exam. He has been working like a maniac to get our yard ready for July 4th festivities with the family. Dwayne has moved to Chicago to sell home security systems for the summer. It has been tough for him to be so far away from family and sales work has been very tough. Dexter finished his junior year of high school and he's continuing the job search. He has pioneer trek at Martin's Cove coming up on Monday. I have been very busy at work with various fundraising events. I was happy to get our garden in and it's one of my best sources of sanity. I sure do love to watch things grow!

5K

We have a semiannual 5K where I work. It's the one time we can bring our families and get together. Last year, I wore a "Chubby and Dangerous" shirt (Valentine's leftover with picture of a cupid) for the race. I tried running a little at the beginning and that messed me up for the whole thing. I hurt like crazy and didn't think I could make it at all. Because we went to a turnaround point and came back, it was hard to see so many people on their way to finishing the race when I was only 1/3 of the way done. The nice thing was they all cheered me on and gave me encouragement. It took me an hour to finish and I was the very last person. They were already picking up the cones, signs, and water tables.

Last night, I completed the 5K in 40 minutes, 36 seconds and I was not even close to being the last person to finish. I did what Traci taught me - paced myself by walking 5 minutes, jogging one minute. I adjusted as I felt tired by walking 2 minutes then jogging 30-45 seconds. I even jogged across the finish line!! That was an amazing feeling and I can't wait to see if I can get even better for The Race for Red. We only have 10 days left in this Heart Challenge. It's hard to believe this is almost over.

Promenade

The promenade at the prom. It's huge!! It was actually a lot more fun for me than it would have been if I hadn't chaperoned the choir and gotten to know some of the kids. Still, it's a really big high school and it took a long time to get through all the couples. Dexter's group ended up near the end (of course). It rained a bunch today so they changed their plans some and ended up playing hide and seek in the mall, running around the auditorium of their high school, and miniature golfing (?) around the high school lawn.

It took me nearly an hour to do Dexter's hair in three herringbone braids. I'm pretty safe in saying he had the fanciest hair of any guy there.
Dexter made his corsage for his date. It is a fabric rose on a fabric cuff. He even machine embroidered Prom 2009 on the back of the cuff. His friend Colby taught him how to do it.

Dexter's group was extremely good at coordinating the guys' look with the girls' dresses. Colby and his date were with the group, but had wandered off before we could take a picture. They're really a wonderful group of kids! I got to know most of them on the choir tour.

Dexter's date is Jenna King. She's a delightful, yet quiet girl. They made a very handsome couple.

Utah Proms

Proms in Utah are very different than what I'm used to. Dexter is going to his prom tomorrow and I'm still trying to get a handle on the details. Apparently, the dance itself is not really the big event. These kids make their arrangements in groups. The "group" of 3 or 4 couples plan an entire day's worth of activities for prom. Dexter and his group will begin at 8 am tomorrow with some outdoor games like ultimate frisbee. At some point they are moving on to play board games on the roof of the high school (one of the guys in their group has a dad with keys to the school). The boys have plans too cook dinner at one of the guys' houses. The girls need a couple of hours to get ready and the boys will get ready and occupy their time watching videos until the girls are done. The prom itself starts at 8 pm and is held at the Provo Library ballroom. At 9 pm is the promenade (is that where the name prom came from?) which is the highlight of the evening. Parents, friends, alumni, etc. gather outside and each couple is anounced at the top of the stairs and then parades down the stairs for all to see. My guess is that this was the best way for people to show off their beautiful clothes and get the most for all the money they spent. After the promenade, it's back to dancing until about 11 pm. Dexter says the da full of activities is Utah County's substitute for renting hotel rooms like other kids around the country do. Where my prom was more about the dance and who was dating who, the proms here are more likely to have friends taking friends. One of my friends has a daughter who is going with a friend instead of her boyfriend.... Very different! I'm hoping to get pictures on here tomorrow of Dex. His tux for the prom cost more to rent than what he paid to buy his choir tux!!! He did get a bit of a discount since they forgot to send pants with hix tux and he will have to pick those up tomorrow. Right now he is at a friends house working on the corsage for his date. I heard sewing machines in the background and he said they weren't using flowers, so I don't know what to be prepared for. Last year the prom was on his birthday and he had no money (plus he was only a sophomore) so he didn't go. A vanful of his friends stopped by in their beautiful clothes to sing "Happy Birthday" to him. It was darling! To be continued...

So Sick

I've had a tough time these past few days. My biggest allergy is to cedar and it hit me hard this year. Unfortunately, the aftermath of a bad allergy year is that my sinuses stay messed up and I end up with a sinus infection. I didn't see it coming and it took me down pretty hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly a wimp when it comes to getting sick. Most times I can just get some extra sleep and be done with it or at least tough it out in the meantime. There was no way to tough this one out and I remembered how nice it was when I was a kid and Mom was there to tuck us in, clean up the messes, and supply us with 7-up and chicken soup. I don't like being sick as a grown-up since nobody's there to baby me and everyone still wants me to take care of them. Husbands, kids, and dogs don't seem to understand that it's possible for moms to get sick. I felt bad about missing work since there are some projects I'm working on that nobody else can take care of in my absence. Now that I'm feeling better, I'll have to work harder not to get sick again.

Mourning

I attended a funeral today for the husband of one of my coworkers, MaryAnn Smith. MaryAnn was such a great person to talk to about what was going on with my dad. Her husband had a fatal illness that slowly took him out over a period of two years. He was in a coma for the last little bit. They had chosen hospice care since his disease was incurable. MaryAnn was a great source of strength for me when I struggled with how to feel about Dad's situation. She was relieved when her husband finally passed away since he had suffered so much. She also missed him, of course. While sitting at the funeral, I found myself very overcome with emotion as I listened to their children talk about their dad. He was only a year older than my dad and I found myself jealous of that family because they got to have a funeral. We all knew that a church funeral didn't really make sense for my dad and he had a thing against funerals because of traumatic family funerals had been for him. I still wished I could have given a talk on his life, what I learned from him, the funny stories, and my testimony of the gospel and how we can be a family forever. I'm hoping that I can have a meaningful experience when we get together to spread Dad's ashes. If anyone has an idea on when this might happen, please let me know. My schedule seems to book up fast.