A Great Friend and the First Ever Female LDS Chaplain

LDS Living

The link above will take you to an article for LDS Living Magazine. My boss asked me to write an article about Heritage Schools' chaplain to submit to the magazine (nice publicity for us if it gets published). The magazine has some pretty strict word limit guidelines for submitting articles and I struggled like crazy to keep it within the limit they had for stories about "making a difference." The first draft I came up with just didn't have enough information about Tami's qualifications and experiences, so I tackled it again and hoped they wouldn't tear it apart. Tami has been our chaplain at Heritage most of the years I have worked there. Her dad was a military chaplain and she wanted to be like him in so many ways. She wanted to be a full time seminary teacher, but they didn't let women do that back when she finished high school (women can do it now if they are done raising their children). A series of very miraculous events lead to her taking over for her dad as chaplain at another treatment center and then coming to work at Heritage even though we never had a full time, let alone paid, chaplain until she came along. The details of the story had me in tears. Tami has become one of my best and dearest friends over the years as well as my chaplain when I am in need. She is the sweetest person you will ever meet - a true angel on this earth. The story pretty much wrote itself.

With the help of a local PR agency, we got the article submitted to LDS Living Magazine, hoping they would be interested in hearing about the first ever (and only) female chaplain who is LDS. It was wonderful to find out today that they published it online. I'm waiting to see if it will be in the magazine as well. The only negative to the whole thing is that they managed to misspell my last name.... My friends are teasing that I should have that as my official pen name.

I won!

A friend of mine showed me this site called GiveAwayToday where they have prizes you can win each day. The businesses who give away the prizes benefit from the extra publicity since lots of people like to try to win free stuff. I actually won something the other day. It wasn't as cool as other prizes I had hoped for, but better than not winning... I won a blog makeover. Once they send me all the details of what I need to do, my blog should be looking extra spiffy in no time.

Don't Freak Out...

Ok....So Dexter spent the past week at Timberline Scout Camp as one of the staff there. It's a leadership training camp for Boy Scouts to develop their leadership skills. Dwayne and Dexter have both attended this camp in past years. They were quite happy to have Dexter join their staff and help teach classes, run things, etc. Emerson went up there on Monday to deliver some supplies and to see the camp. Dexter managed to wear a kilt pretty much the whole week (their Young Men's/Scout leader always wears a kilt and Dexter discovered he likes to wear them too). Although Dexter is quite good at magic, I believe he is juggling the can in the picture, not levitating it...
One of the exercises they did at camp was to have a mock serious injury occur and have the boys figure out how to handle the situation, get help, etc. Dexter was quite proud of the job he did constructing his "wound" and acting out his injury. He came in with a can lid "stuck" in his leg, screaming and dripping "blood." Even those who were in on the exercise had trouble handling the very graphic look of it.

Very proud of his work, Dexter couldn't wait to post the lovely picture on Facebook for all the world to see. His friends reacted and Dexter kept the act going by dancing around their questions and giving true answers that didn't really answer their questions. What he didn't anticipate was reaction of adults who saw the pictures and freaked out. He doesn't feel bad that he fooled his peers, but he does feel bad that he upset some of the grownups in his life as well as some tenderhearted close friends. He's proud of his work in creating the fake injury. Only a few people managed to nice the bottle of fake blood he is holding in his hand in that picture. Don't be too surprised if he pulls something like this again. My advice - don't be afraid to call us directly to find out what's going on. The only damage from this incident was to the shorts Dex was wearing.

Dwayne is Back

Dwayne's job in Chicago took a weird twist and he had to choose between moving to Tampa to finish the summer selling security systems or just go home. He drove back from Chicago and arrived at our house on Friday afternoon, just in time to go on the annual ward campout with us. I decided to bring the dogs camping. Scout went camping with Emerson and Dexter last month, but this was Shadow's first campout. Since I haven't been camping in some time, I was excited to go.

Dexter performed the Elvis classic "Jailhouse Rock" during the talent show. I brought frybread to share for dinner. The dogs seemed to enjoy being out, but my lack of a CPAP machine caused me to keep everyone awake with my snoring.

Dexter is staffing the Timberline Scout camp this week and Dwayne just headed out to Ft. Defiance to visit his grandma. We will have the house to ourselves this week.

In addition to gardening and playing Scrabble against each other online, Emerson and I have been finding other fun things to do. We wander the stores more to find some cool air now that it's so hot. Emerson has been teaching me to ride a scooter and we've had fun riding around and sightseeing.

Once Dwayne gets back to Provo again, he will be looking for work and preparing himself to serve a mission.

Stuff

I don't want to let too much time go by without posting something. I can never remember who knows what is going on with us, so this is usually a good way to catch everyone up. We are keeping fairly busy working on things around the house. Dexter got in trouble for taking a scooter without permission and driving it to the mall (and other places). Since he has no driver's license of any kind, this bit of rebellion is even scarier for us. He is spending the month of July without cell phone and computer access to friends and is limited to activities with family or for church. He has been working on a summertime list of extra projects around the house and yard. Still no job for him. Even the fast food jobs are snatched up fast this summer.

Emerson and I are working on our own relationship. August 20 will be our 21st anniversary and we are realizing how much work marriage can be. You can't stop talking and trying to work things out. This summer has been kind of fun getting to know each other again. Trying to keep the lawn green and our garden growing has been one of biggest focuses.

Dwayne's job in Chicago is coming to an early end. Cheating on the part of a few has ended it for everyone. He could transfer to Tampa and continue working, but Dwayne says he realizes that he doesn't have the personality to make that kind of shift and get to know the personality of that region with so little time left. He's trying to figure out what his next move is. He still has some work to do to repair his relationship with his dad and fix the turmoil that created, so he has ruled out living with us for the time being.

We've had some fun visits with family this month. Emerson's family was up for the Independence Day weekend. We barbecued, watched movies, played games, watched the parade, and roasted in the heat. The guys played golf a couple of times. I participated in the Freedom Run 5K by walking and found myself having to walk home from the finish line because the police had so many roads blocked for the parade that Emerson couldn't get through to pick me up. Rick and Holly stopped by for dinner and to bring me some stuff from Dad's apartment. I finally got some of my record albums back that Dad took off with in the divorce. Bill, Tina, Billy, Eliza, Buddy, and Jack stopped by yesterday morning on their way back home. Short visit, but glad we got to see them. We're hoping we get more opportunities to see family this year.

Garden

I love gardening! I'm not terribly good at it, but I love the peace it brings. There is something really wonderful about growing things. It's so cool to see plants grow and develop and sometimes amazing growth seems to happen overnight. We don't have much room for our garden and I tend to forget how much the plants spread out. It didn't look this crowded when I planted it...
We have some anaheim peppers in smaller pots on a shelf next to the garden. Emerson really loves cooking with those anaheims.
Last year I barely got one tiny bell pepper out of the garden. I've already picked a few now and more are on the way. They're not big like the ones in the store, but they taste good.
We got our first zucchini of the summer much earlier than I expected. Next to it is a gypsy pepper. They're very sweet and this is the second one we've picked. The corn is growing well behind the dog pen. It's already looking better than last year. The tomatoes are looking good, we have tiny little cucumbers starting up, and it looks like in a week or two we will have lots of squash to eat. The onions are leftovers from last year that started on their own. The tough part is keeping the dogs from attacking the veggies as I take them from the garden to the house. They always think it's all for them...cute. I started some plants from seed and others we bought starts of, but it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference. All the rain we had got things going and the blazing sun we have right now is boosting the growth. As long as I have my garden to play in, I'm good!

Dwayne's Hair

For those of you who have been following us on Facebook, I'm sure you've noticed a little family tension going on. No, I'm not in favor of a public family argument, but some things end up being hard to ignore. Before you decide to weigh in and judge our parenting, it might be good to know what's going on.

When Dwayne came home from Job Corps, things went really well for awhile. He had a nice full time job and was pretty polite and disciplined. In time, he resented our requests for him to pitch in around the house and rules or curfews. We tried to let him make his own decisions as an adult. He spent his money as he wanted, bought a drove a car wherever he wanted, and spent his days as he wanted. All we asked was that he be in at a decent hour and contribute to the work of the household. One of Dwayne's friends introduced him to the idea of selling home security systems for the summer. I found out after Dwayne had already given notice at work that he was moving to Chicago to sell security systems. His thinking was that it would give him good practice for a mission and he could earn the money he needed to go on the mission. I reminded him that he had not been good about attending church and had been skipping mission prep classes, leading to the Bishop being unwilling to recommend him to serve a mission. Dwayne figured he would take care of that later. He told us the names of a bunch of people he had talked to and that they supported his decision - his boss, his aunt Kathy, his young men's leader and his wife, and other friends and neighbors. We have since discovered that many of them didn't really know what he was asking them about and didn't think it was a good idea. Despite our protests and my warnings about how these summer sales jobs rip off young people, he decided to go. Despite his inexperience with driving, he drove all the way to Chicago.

Since he has been there, we receive regular calls from him about the tough time he is having. Dwayne's personality is not very conducive to sales and he was having a hard time making any sales at all. He was upset to find himself possibly on the chopping block and due to be sent home. We reassured him that there was no shame in coming home. The economy is tough and he had tried hard. He was spared the cut, but they started mentioning that he would need to cut his hair. His managers believed that he would make more sales if he had short hair. Emerson and I talked to him a lot about it and told him that he should just come home - no summer job is worth that kind of sacrifice. We were prepared for him to cut his hair to go on a mission, but not for some temporary job. His manager could only promise that he might be spared for a few more weeks if he cut his hair. If the haircut doesn't improve his sales, he has nothing else to give. In the meantime, they deduct $100 per week for his rent for a shared apartment and he is up against various fines for missing meetings, having a dirty apartment, etc. He continues to push to get the minimum of 20 sales for the summer that will earn his rent money back and give him $1,000 signing bonus. For every sale he makes, he gets a little over $200. This adventure has cost him money....and now his hair. Two months after he finishes this summer job, he may get a "back end" check for remaining money earned ($60 per sale that hasn't been cancelled), but I've heard from people who've worked for them who were cheated out of those checks. Dwayne is determined not to quit and I admire that to an extent. His managers are playing him like salespeople tend to do and he doesn't get it. He's sure they really care and are his friends. We've done everything we can to be there for him when he calls and have made it clear that we disagree with cutting his hair for a job that's only going to last for 6 more weeks. I begged him to come home. We heard from Dexter yesterday about the haircut. He's an adult and there's nothing we can do. We are allowed to be upset and I reminded him that he doesn't get to choose the consequences of his actions. No parent likes to be rejected like this and it truly hurts us right now. We have been clear with him that we support him whether or not he serves a mission - it is his choice to make. Emerson tried so hard to get him to go to church and the mission prep classes and supported him having to cut his hair for the mission. Dwayne is now hurling accusations at us that are just not true. I don't enjoy the public war either. He has said plenty to hurt us in text messages and emails as well. We still love him and want the best for him and hope he somehow makes this worth what he has sacrificed. Those of you with teenagers know much of the pain we are going through. Agree or disagree, it doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know the rest of the story. I love all of my family, but be prepared for me to be unhappy if you sit there and delete my side of the conversation. If you don't want to hear my opinion, don't post about us on Facebook. I reserve the right to explain my side of things.

Saying a Final Goodbye

I traveled to San Diego this weekend to join my siblings to spread out dad's ashes over the ocean. Tina's parents live near San Diego and were gracious enough to let us stay at their house and took us out on their boat. Ralph and Abby Dickman have been so wonderful to us. Kathy flew out to Las Vegas, met up with Sharon, and the two of them drove out here with Dad's ashes. Bill, Tina, Billy, and Eliza came out earlier in the week so they could go to Disneyland. I flew out here on Friday and will be heading home tomorrow. We went out on the boat yesterday and it was absolutely fitting that the weather was overcast and it felt like being back in Bandon. The waves were kind of choppy and we laughed and screamed as if we were on a roller coaster ride. Along the way, a bunch of dolphins joined us, swimming along with the boat. It was really fun watching them swim in front of us and around us, jumping out of the water. After we got far enough out on the ocean, Bill said a nice prayer and we spread Dad's ashes in the ocean. Then we headed back to the harbor and had some fish and chips, walked along the pier, and headed back to the Dickman's house. After some games, movies, and some time in the hot tub, the day was over. Sharon and Kathy had to take off this morning and Bill headed home this morning since all of them have work tomorrow. I'm here one more night and then I will be back in Utah. It was a great experience and I'm glad we could get together out here. I wish Rick could have been here. I hope it won't be our last chance to get together as siblings.

Watch Out for the Glass!

The turn signal lightbulb went out on the truck and Emerson went to change the bulb for me. The bulb was really stuck and in the process of pushing it in and turning it, the bulb broke and sliced into his thumb. It took awhile to stop the blood from spurting, but he seems to mostly be okay. He is just inconvenienced by a very sore thumb this week. Today, Dexter managed to trip while walking out of his bedroom and stabilized himself by putting his hand through the glass of the pantry cabinet door. If you really need to see the results, check out Dexter's Facebook page. Of course I didn't want to be left out, so when I came home and tried cleaning up some glass shards the vacuum missed, one of the shards managed to make its way into my thumb. Feeling rather wimpy at this point, I ended up asking Dexter to pull the glass out for me. It's probably a good thing Dwayne isn't here since he's a fainter...

Challenge Over, Life Continues

The 100-Day Heart Challenge is now over and I came in 4th. In addition to losing 25 pounds, I lost about 3% body fat, brought my glucose down from pre-diabetic to normal level, lowered my blood pressure from a scary high level to practically normal, and made dramatic changes to my triglycerides level. I'm so happy to be healthier and I plan on continuing with what I learned during the challenge. We ended things with a 5K and I even sprinted the last 200 yards of that (because a friend challenged me to). I have a lot more weight to lose, but I plan on doing it the proper way. Emerson and I have been going to the gym together and we're both trying to eat healthier. Some of my coworkers go walking with me for a mile or so most days and we're helping keep tabs on each other.

So here is what our little family has been up to lately:
Emerson is finishing his special education certification this summer. His classes are done and now he just needs to pass off his student teaching and pass the Praxis exam. He has been working like a maniac to get our yard ready for July 4th festivities with the family. Dwayne has moved to Chicago to sell home security systems for the summer. It has been tough for him to be so far away from family and sales work has been very tough. Dexter finished his junior year of high school and he's continuing the job search. He has pioneer trek at Martin's Cove coming up on Monday. I have been very busy at work with various fundraising events. I was happy to get our garden in and it's one of my best sources of sanity. I sure do love to watch things grow!